The Rain

It rained for days

after you left me,

as if the sky itself

shared my grief.

. John Mark Green .



With the monsoons rains upon us, this quote really spoke to me this morning, and reminded me of a journal entry I had made, I thought I would share it with all of you.

I hope that today this might bring you some comfort as you move forward with your broken heart.

The rains came on the day that you left us. They were gentle at first and then relentless in the way they pounded the ground. They came like clockwork at 2 p.m. every afternoon. The clouds would roll in, the sky would darken, and then the rain. I hated it. I wished for warm sunny days that I could spend next to you at the cemetery. Longing to be dry and warm, to feel secure. Instead the wind would whip, the rain would pound, and the days were spent running from place to place, that was, until I stopped.

I stopped and listened to the rhythm of the rain on the roof. I inhaled the scent of rain, pine, and wet soil, their scents mingling and filling my lungs. I watched the rain drops track down the windows. I lingered as I walked letting the rain seep through my coat and shoes. I stopped and embraced the rain. I started to see it as a washing away of my sadness. The rain was a reminder that I was not alone in my grief, that not only was my heart broken but so was that of all the heavens and earth.

In those first days and weeks following the loss of JLB I found myself trying to make the best of a miserable situation.  This is the first time I really remember me trying to find gifts in the littlest things around me. I know that it has helped me not only on those early days of my grief journey, but has continued to be helpful as I have gone through the years.  

Is there something that you can find beauty in today?  Is there an unrecognized gift in your life?  It could be the extra long embrace with a friend, the giggle of your little one, or just the smell of the air brought on by these beautiful monsoon rains.

I hope that today your heart feels a warm embrace in knowing that you are not alone.